Alex and Olivia Montage

Cold Feet, Cold Case, Warm Hearts

Part 1

Email ncruuk

Disclaimer: Not mine. I promise I'm only borrowing them and will return them to their rightful owners whenever they ask for them back. My imagination took a flight of bank account stayed empty. (Seriously, the cast of SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC and I’m only borrowing them for somw free daydreaming that I wrote down, whilst CSI is very much the property of CBS and Jerry Bruckheimer and Alliance Atlantis).

Spoiler/Author’s Notes: None specifically, although good knowledge of what happens in general is required. There will be the occasional reference to a case seen on the show, with any episodes up to the end of Season 5 regarded as fair game. It is from this point that the AU occurs, although back story from the show will be incorporated where relevant/appropriate. Equally, a brief knowledge of CSI is helpful, but certainly not at all necessary – for those completely unfamiliar with that fandom, the characters can be read as ‘original’ (i.e. non-familiar).

Rating: 15

Summary: Sometimes, losing everything that you thought was important can be the trigger for gaining so much more.

“Two weeks!” exclaimed Alex happily, as she flopped unceremoniously onto the couch in her office, dropping assorted shopping bags on the floor around her.

“Two weeks what?” teased her amused girlfriend, as she carefully deposited her assortment of bags by the side of the desk she was currently leaning against.

Alex’s only response was to peer at Olivia over her black framed glasses, prompting Olivia to break out into a broad grin as she lazily shed her leather jacket and laid it on the desk. Adopting her best ‘infomercial voice’, complete with false smile, she teased Alex further,

“Enlighten me Counsellor, I’m curious, is it the thought of the uninterrupted expanse of delicate white powder you’re so excited about?”

“Liv…..” came the groan as Alex removed her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose. To anyone else, the signs were there that it was time to quit with the teasing. Olivia Benson wasn’t anyone though, and so continued, undeterred, crossing her arms loosely across her chest, getting comfortable.

“There is a certain appeal about constantly landing on my butt though….cold wet stuff would make a pleasant change from the garbage of the City…” Olivia continued with her teasing, her smile turning to an amused smirk as she watched the half hearted ‘looks’ Alex was directing at her through partially closed eyes.

“Or maybe Detective…” came the lazy response from the visibly relaxed attorney, “…it’s the thought of two weeks of a log cabin, room service, firelight, and you, naked in front of aforementioned fire…..” As Alex described the scene she envisaged, she stood up and stalked across her office, stopping in front of a now blushing Detective. As Alex got within holding range, long, arms snaked out to curl around a slender, be-suited waist. Drawing Alex into a loving embrace, Olivia muttered

“I look forward to it,” before lips sought out lips and joined in a successful and passionate union.

Unfortunately, the moment did not last, as a new voice interrupted them.

“Couldn’t that be construed as an assault of an Officer of the Court?”

“Or alternatively, an assault of a police officer, taken from the other perspective, although it would seem to be consensual…..” offered a second new voice in response.

“Oh God.” Alex groaned as Olivia withdrew slightly from the embrace, inadvertently allowing Alex to burrow her face into Olivia’s broad shoulder, seeking out her favourite hiding spot, right where shoulder met neck. It seemed it was her intention to hide, leaving Olivia to deal with the intruders.

“Liz, um, Judge Petrovsky.”

“Detective Benson, how are you this bright and sunny afternoon?”

“Good thank you Your Honour, and yourself?” returned Olivia politely, trying very hard to ignore the surrealness of the moment, all the while hoping that her girlfriend would emerge at some point soon.

“Not bad, though I would be feeling a hell of a lot better if my goddaughter’s mother wasn’t so…..” unusually, the Judge seemed to fail to find the words.

“Opinionated?” offered Olivia helpfully, unable to stop the faintest hints of an amused smirk cross her face as she looked at the frustrated Judge.

“Conniving was what I was going for, but that works too,” agreed the Judge, before focusing her gaze on Alex.

“Alexandra Cabot, your mother wants me to find you in contempt of court and fling you in jail again so that you cannot go to Aspen. I’m here, looking for you to convince me to tell your mother to go…..” again, the Judge found words fail her.

“Screw herself?” offered Olivia again, trying once more to be helpful and, despite the strangeness of the moment, enjoying herself somewhat.

“Bite Me!” came the sharp response, prompting Olivia’s jaws to close with an audible bang. She wasn’t sure if that was an instruction to her or Alex’s mother, but either way, wasn’t prepared to risk finding out. Instead, she tried coaxing her girlfriend out from inside her outer shirt, where she seemed to have burrowed. Not sure how much Alex may have heard, and also using it as an excuse not to have to make eye contact with an increasingly amused Liz Donnelly, Olivia murmured,

“Alex, honey? You need to tell your godmother why your mother can go to hell.” Olivia hoped that her concise summary of the situation had been quiet enough so that only Alex had heard. Alex’s response on the other hand, was less quiet. In fact, it was loud enough for all to hear her mutter,

“My mother doesn’t understand how good you look wearing only firelight!” followed shortly by,

“Oh God, I said that out loud, didn’t I?” If it was at all possible, Alex burrowed even further into Olivia. So what if she was being cowardly, she had to face her godmother in court in a couple of days. The fact that Olivia would also be before the Judge didn’t occur to her, deciding instead that, since Olivia was the one with the gun, she could assume the role of defence counsel.

“Yes Alexandra, you did. And, on that lovely visual, I think Liz, I shall go and telephone my dear friend.” As Lena Petrovsky turned to take her leave, Olivia couldn’t help herself, she had to know,

“What are you going to tell her Ma’am?”

“That my goddaughter’s in love with a marvellous woman, and that the first bottle of champagne on your room service bill is on me!” she said authoritatively, before the often formidable lady swept out of the office, taking a smiling Liz with her.

After a brief interval, Alex finally lifted her very red face from its comfortable resting place.

“Are they gone?”

“Yes. Why did Donnelly come?”

“You mean apart from because she takes perverse delight in seeing me be terminally embarrassed?”

“Yes, though why were you so embarrassed? It’s not like they both don’t know we’re a couple…” asked Olivia, genuinely intrigued as to what was causing her normally calm and collected girlfriend to be this delectable red colour.

“Chaperone: she’s today’s Judge and wouldn’t want to risk a defence attorney claiming I had bias due to a special relationship.” Seeing Olivia’s bemused look, she continued,

“A judge seeking out an ADA is different to an ADA seeking out a Judge,” explained Alex, obviously finding the minutiae of legal procedure calming, as the colour was gradually returning to normal in her previously flushed cheeks.

“Oh.” Olivia mulled this over, wondering if Alex was hoping she’d ignore the other question, or whether she might have to start teasing her about it. Before she could decide on a course of action, Alex continued her explanation,

“It’s one thing for Liz and my godmother to know that we are a couple, but to give a New York State Judge and senior District Attorney that mental image?” Alex was now the one struggling to find the words…

“You mean me, naked, on a nice soft rug in front of a roaring fireplace wearing nothing but a smile?” clarified Olivia, grinning rakishly, thoroughly enjoying herself.

“Yes!” squeaked Alex, making to swat at Olivia’s backside. That move quickly changed to a caress of said body part when Alex suddenly found herself caught up in a passionate, all consuming kiss that, when it finished, seemingly left her incapable of speech and a little dazed. Carefully disentangling herself from her shell shocked love, Olivia slipped out from between Alex and the desk, before saying,

“I hate to do this, but I have to get back to work. See you later?” Seeing Alex was still a little spaced, but in a very good way, she carefully placed a tender kiss on the blonde’s temple and grabbed her jacket, before whispering,

“I love you,” and then heading for the door. Just as she was about to close the door behind her, both Olivia and the secretary heard the now recovered ADA yell,

“I’m going to get you for that Benson!” only to be met with the amused shout,

“I’m looking forward to it!” as Olivia then left the outer office, merrily jogging off to rejoin her colleagues over at the squad room, pleased for once to have the last word!

Entering the SVU squad room, Olivia couldn’t suppress the smile that seemed permanently affixed to her face, though she did manage to stop whistling. She crossed to her desk, studiously ignoring the smirks that her colleagues were sending her way. Checking her messages, she continued to ignore her colleagues until she had taken off her coat, hanging it on the back of her chair. Crossing towards the ever present coffee jug, she selected her mug before casually asking of no one in particular,

“So, who gets the beers?”

“Would you believe me if I said the perps? We’ve had nothing since before you went out” offered Elliot, wondering if his normally private partner was actually in a sufficiently good mood to give them some gossip.

“Your loss then, I guess. My tab at Maloneys’ stays blank,” teased Olivia, as she considered the meagre contents of the squad biscuit tin, waiting to see which one of the guys would call her on her reneged offer. After a few seconds, she was unsurprised to see Munch be elected unofficial spokesman.

“Detective, I distinctly remembering you promising beer to any one of us that didn’t call you whilst you were out shopping with our delectable ADA, which we didn’t, so I do believe that you owe us a round of drinks. You can pay up after shift; mine will be a double scotch, as I am no longer drinking beer, owing to there being a link, suppressed by the government…..” Before Munch could get very far with his latest conspiracy theory, he was effectively shut up owing to the sharp delivery of a slap to the back of the head from Fin.

“What was that for?” asked Munch, startled at his partner’s violence

“Because given the choice of hearing about Benson trying on bikinis with her girlfriend and you ramble, I’d slap you around any time darling!” Fin finished his explanation putting on a lazy Southern accent and fluttering his eyelashes at his partner, prompting Elliot and Olivia, now back at her desk with a fresh cup of coffee, to burst out laughing. Leaning back in her chair, Olivia smirked when she saw the expectant look on Munch’s face. Deciding to play with them a bit, she put down her coffee cup before stretching. As she finished her stretch, idly noticing that Munch and Fin had watched her like the proverbial hawks, she said

“No bikinis Fin, sorry.”

“No bikinis? What sort of a holiday are you going on?”

“Aspen, skiing. No bikinis,” offered Olivia simply, curious to see what the guys would do next. She loved them all like brothers, Elliot especially, and they had been great about her and Alex, but sometimes they couldn’t help themselves from reverting to stereotypical frat boys, salivating over the thought of two women together. As long as the teasing was good natured, and they didn’t take liberties, which they never would dream of, Olivia was happy to indulge them, after all, even if they weren’t intimidated by her into behaving, she was sure they were all still a little scared by her girlfriend.

“I thought you were shooting off for a romantic escape?” asked Elliot diplomatically.

“Uh huh.” Olivia didn’t look at her partner, instead focussing her attention on one of the many files that were scattered on her desk.

“So, how do you have a holiday with sex but no bikinis?” asked Munch of the room in general, showing possibly why he had so many ex wives…..

“Firelight?” offered Olivia idly, giving up on her pretence of working and trying hard not to giggle, but at the same time wondering why she was letting the guys go there. Suddenly, it seemed like a collective light bulb had been switched on.

“Oh, yeah, I can see that. You’ve got class Benson,” conceded Fin, breaking out into a broad grin.

“Of course she has, why else do you think I would be going out with her?” responded a new voice, prompting everyone except Olivia to straighten and look busy, much to Alex’s amusement. Walking over to her lover’s desk, she asked,

“Why do they try to look all innocent and busy when I interrupt their gossip?”

“Because they don’t like you to know they think about us naked,” came Olivia’s straightforward reply, immediately drawing protestations from the guys who hadn’t picked up on the fact that Alex and Olivia were teasing them. Sharing a satisfied smirk with Olivia, Alex switched to business and the purpose for her surprise visit.

“The Embers warrant finally came through,” she announced with little preamble, opening her briefcase and extracting the slim folded paper.

“You serious? How long did it take?” asked Fin, already reaching for his coat.

“Too long,” came Elliot’s reply, also reaching for his coat. The Embers Case, as it had become known within SVU was a rather unpleasant, even by their standards, case of a serial child abuser. The detectives had found a suspect who they were fairly certain was their guy, but the warrant had taken a long time. It had been felt that circumstantial evidence was not enough at first, even if it had been for two scenes. Finally, with another two scenes and another two batches of circumstantial evidence, not to mention a different judge, the warrant had come.

“Any restrictions?” asked Olivia, as she reached out to take the proffered paper from Alex.

“Yes, you can enter his property, all rooms, any storage space in the building’s basement or attic, but only plain sight once in. No searching, only looking,” offered Alex, sounding dejected as she closed her briefcase. It wasn’t everything, but maybe they’d get lucky and he’d be stupid….leaving something lying on the bed or something. Ignoring the groans of her colleagues, Olivia took the warrant from Alex, tucking it in her jacket.

“Thanks, you got what you could. We’ll do our best,” said Olivia, smiling at Alex as she turned to leave.

“Be careful Liv…” Alex’s plea became a whisper as the doors to the squad room closed behind her lover, leaving her alone in the empty squad room. Sighing, Alex gathered her composure once more and headed towards Cragen’s office to keep him informed.

Twenty minutes later and the SVU detectives were arranged around an apartment door and adjacent landing. Munch now had the warrant, and was standing up by the door, ready to knock, with Elliot standing out of sight of the spy hole, ready to act as back up. Fin was standing a couple of yards up the hall just in case the guy made a dash for the fire escape, whilst Olivia was in a similar position in anticipation that he tried for the main staircase. When everyone signalled to Munch that they were ready, he knocked firmly on the door

“Mr. Wilson? NYPD. We have a warrant to search your apartment.” On getting no response from inside, Munch banged on the door, shouting what was evidently this guy’s final warning. Getting no further response from inside, Munch checked once more that his colleagues were ready before unfolding the warrant and taping it to the door. Then, drawing his gun, he covered Elliot as he shouldered the door.

Doors can be deceptive. Some look like they’re going to break if you slam them, whilst others look like they are so solid it would take a serious military assault to even dent. Unfortunately for Elliot, this door looked like it was the very solid kind, prompting him to throw his shoulder at it very aggressively. The door was of the paper thin kind, prompting his momentum to not only smash down the door but also carry him barrelling into the apartment, stumbling to a stop some 4 paces inside the deserted hall.

The next few seconds passed in slow motion for all concerned and, taken out of context, could have been a skit on a slapstick comedy show, had it not had such potentially serious consequences.

Elliot, stumbled to a halt and turned to see what was happening behind him. To his horror, he had turned just in time to see their suspect slip round the door frame through the gap between the advancing Munch and the now busted hinges, obviously heading towards the stairs. Elliot heard a voice shout ‘LIV!’ which he would later realise was his own, hoping that his partner was ready for what was about to hit her, literally. Arriving at the doorway together, Fin and Elliot had just enough time to see their suspect barrel into Olivia, head butting her in the stomach. Momentarily winded, but seemingly undeterred, Olivia had managed to re-holster her weapon, allowing her to use to both hands to wrestle the suspect’s hands behind his back, ready to be cuffed by an advancing Munch. Just as Munch was within grasping reach however, the suspect seemed to overpower Olivia, breaking his arms free from her grasp, forcing her to lose her balance. As Olivia felt herself falling backwards, time seemed to slow. She saw Munch finally cuff the suspect and Elliot and Fin arrive beside him, giving added support to make sure this slippery guy didn’t wriggle past them again. Relieved, realising that he wasn’t going to get free now, she consciously let herself relax, resigned to landing on her backside in an undignified heap…..just in time for her sub conscious to remember she had been standing at the top of a flight of stairs when she’d been butted in the stomach…

“…..can’t let you in here Ms. Cabot…..” an unknown male voice penetrated Olivia’s fuzzy brain.

“A…x?” Olivia’s dry throat and general disorientation made her voice very quiet and weak, but it was enough.

“Olivia?” Alex’s normally steady voice was slightly sharper than usual, with a combination of panic and relief colouring her tone. Pushing past the nurse that had been trying to prevent her coming fully into the room, Alex rushed to the side of the bed, carefully avoiding the assortment of machines and other medical paraphernalia that was surrounding her lover. Taking Olivia’s clammy hand in her own, Alex found herself blinking back moisture as she began speaking softly in a suddenly calm, reassuring voice,

“I’m right here darling….it’s ok, everything’s going to be fine.”

Swallowing deeply, Alex looked back at the nurse, levelling a look of such intensity on him as if daring him to disagree with her assessment of Olivia’s situation. Taken aback with the intensity of the blonde, he turned, muttering,

“I’ll go get the Doctor,” before leaving the ladies in peace, deciding that there were times when rules were best broken, and that someone more senior than he could attempt to remove the determined blonde from her lover’s side.

“Hurts,” came the quiet croak from the bed, refocusing Alex’s attention on the pale, still face of her lover. Mentally, Olivia was trying to say more, much more, but physically, her body had other ideas and other concerns…not least the fact that something was stopping her move beyond squeezing the hand that was currently holding her own.

“I know darling, I know...” Willing herself to be strong for Olivia, Alex tried to blot out the memory of the time when she was the one regaining consciousness in the Emergency Room, alone…

“ ’S dark,” came the next hoarse comment from Olivia, still trying to work out where she was and what was happening to her, although whatever it was, it couldn’t be all that bad as she had Alex with her. Despite all the dangers that her job exposed her to, or fears that it highlighted, Olivia’s greatest fear was always losing Alex…again. As long as she knew Alex was safe and well, Olivia was automatically feeling better.

Alex’s initial panic at Olivia’s statement, her mind still automatically grabbing the worst possible solution every time, subsided when she actually took a moment to study her lover and realise what the real cause of Olivia’s problem was. Running her hand gently in a familiar gesture, across Olivia’s forehead, or at least the bit she could touch in spite of the head and neck brace her lover was encased in, she brushed back the wisps of hair that were peaking out, before saying,

“Open your eyes sweetie….” And, on seeing the incredible brown eyes of her lover appear from beneath weary eyelids, she couldn’t help but let a small smile grace her tear streaked face, the relief combining with joy and amusement at the fact that Olivia had latched onto her voice so quickly on returning to consciousness that she had forgotten to open her eyes, so clear a mental image did Olivia hold of her.

“You look crap…” was the weak statement that emerged from Olivia’s lips when she finally focussed on Alex, the effort needed to open her eyes seeming far more than she had ever previously remembered it to be.

“You don’t look all that smart yourself,” came the droll retort, although the words were tempered by the broad smile and sparkling blue eyes framed by the ADA’s trademark glasses, not to mention the audible relief that Olivia was not only conscious but also talking to her.

“Hello,” whispered Olivia, unable really to muster the energy to say anything further, although she couldn’t help her face from instinctively attempting to crease into a cheeky grin, complete with a traitorous pink tongue tip, peeking out through dry, cracked lips. Laughing in spite of the emotional turmoil she had been through in the previous two hours, Alex couldn’t contain her relief. Leaning down, she placed a soft kiss on Olivia’s nose, saying,

“You’re incorrigible Detective, but I still love you.”

Olivia’s only response was to smile; it was a smile of pure love, happiness and unrestricted joy. Right now, whatever pain and discomfort she was in, whatever uncertainty there might be about her physical health, none of that mattered; what mattered to Olivia Benson was that Alex loved her, and was there, safe, with her.

Their peaceful moment was interrupted with the unannounced arrival of a new, rather harried and abrupt older male voice,

“Time for you to step out now Miss, I need to examine the little lady.”

“I beg your pardon?” Olivia didn’t need to see either Alex or the Doctor to know that he was about to experience the same Alexandra Cabot that serial rapists did. If Alex’s reputation in court was one of an Ice Princess, then her voice had taken on a positively glacial quality.

“I said, time for you to hop it, I need to examine her.” Despite being unable to see either Alex or the Doctor from her supine position, Olivia could picture the searing look that Alex was directing at the Doctor, a look that many wilted under.

“First of all, the little lady is not ‘her,’ she’s Detective Olivia Benson of the Special Victims Unit. Secondly, I am Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabot and finally, you will leave this room and re-enter either in a better frame of mind or with another doctor.” The precise words were delivered in an even tone that was laced with steel and Alex still held Olivia’s hand in hers, the tone and posture clearly suggesting that sensible people do what she suggests, which is normally, thought Olivia, enjoying the protective streak of her girlfriend, confess and try to plead out. Unfortunately, the doctor did not appear to be sensible.

“Who put you in charge?” came the sarcastic counter.

“I did, when I witnessed those domestic partner and medical power of attorney papers that you’re currently trampling all over. Doctor, I suggest you step outside and send another physician in forthwith. Alexandra, your mother I think anticipated a better bedside manner when she donated that million dollars here last year.”

“Lena, you really didn’t need to come down here, we’re quite alright together,” replied Alex, returning the polite ‘society’ kiss that Judge Petrovsky pressed on her cheek, but not letting go of Olivia’s hand. She decided to ignore the doctor for the moment.

“Of course you are, which is why you’ve got that bigot considering mauling your girlfriend.”

Unsure whether to laugh or cry in response to the sudden arrival of the forceful personality that was her Godmother, Alex closed her eyes for a moment and took a composing breath, before tentatively suggesting,

“I’m not sure you can make those statements anymore,” whilst bracing herself for the potential explosion that could occur at any minute. The only blessing, as far as Alex could see, was that, for once, unlike in court, she was fairly certain that she could not be the target of the incisive Petrovsky tongue.

“Nonsense child, I’m a judge! I will say what I like to whom I like as long as it is based on truth and evidence. That man has preconceived views based on the fact that you are both female, making him a bigot, not to mention the fact that he was not going to examine Olivia with the gentleness and respect she deserved, constituting a mauling,” replied Lena precisely, refocusing her attention now to the supine Olivia.

“Detective, I’m sure you’ll be pleased to know your little stunt was not in vain, the warrant has been extended to a full search and the suspect is currently waiting at the 16th Precinct whilst your colleagues dismantle his life, so your Captain informs Liz Donnelly. I heard what happened and thought I would come by and tell you the good news, seeing as your colleagues are otherwise engaged.” Before Olivia could even think what to say in response to the whirlwind that had swept into the room, her fuzzy mind still coming to terms with the fact that this formidable woman had not only heard about her assault but also come to visit her, the Doctor tried to open his mouth to complain again.

“I don’t know who you think you are…” he began, only to be cut off by the Judge’s precise explanation as she fixed a formidable glare on the man.

“I don’t think, I know. I am Judge Lena Petrovsky and I distinctly remember telling you to vacate this room and find a replacement doctor. I suggest you do exactly that before I start deciding to end your career. In case you hadn’t already fathomed by your eavesdropping, Counsellor Cabot’s mother is a prominent benefactor for this hospital, not to mention dining regularly with myself and the Chairman of the Board. Scoot!!!” This final remark was coupled with an abrupt hand gesture effectively shoving him out of the room. The moment the door closed, Alex, still holding Olivia’s hand, subsided into the nearby chair, giggling profusely, tears starting to stream down her face, the combination of shock and relief proving too much for the ADA to contain. Even Olivia tried to chuckle at the almost farce-like quality of Lena’s intervention, only to stop when she realised the amount of pain this caused. Lena Petrovsky, understanding the emotional ordeal and stress that her goddaughter had been under in the last couple of hours since she had last seen her, let Alex have her head, waiting patiently for the blonde to regain her composure.

After a moment, Alex regained her composure, although a glint of good humour was now visible in her eye where previously there had only been clouds of fear and concern. Before she could make any comment, a new doctor entered the room, announcing her presence completely differently to her unfortunate predecessor.

“Detective Benson? I’m Dr. Stephens and I need to examine you to see what you managed to do to yourself when you took that tumble.” Turning to Alex, the doctor took a brief glance at her notes before proffering a hand to shake, saying,

“I’m guessing you’re Alexandra Cabot? I see here you’re Olivia’s domestic partner and hold power of medical attorney. The good news is that we’re not going to be needing you in your official capacity as, I understand that Olivia is alert and talkative…” here Doctor Stephens paused to smile at Olivia, who smiled back but said nothing, still recovering from her attempt to laugh, before she continued “…but you’re very welcome to stay and give moral support.”

“Thank you Doctor, I will.” Alex smiled when she felt Olivia squeeze her hand in grateful acknowledgement at this idea.

“Excellent, now…..” at this, Dr Stephens turned towards the Judge who had been scrutinising the exchange from the far side of the room.

“Judge Petrovsky was just visiting, relaying a message from her friend, my mother, and will now be leaving as she has a dinner engagement I believe?” asked Alex, pointedly. Thankfully, Lena got the message loud and clear.

“Indeed Alexandra, you are correct. Get better soon Olivia…” Lena approached the bed and leaned over slightly so that Olivia could see her smile of reassurance, before she pressed another kiss to Alex’s cheek. Moments later, the often formidable judge had swept out of the room just as spontaneously as she had arrived, leaving a bemused trio standing in her wake.

“A judge huh?” asked the doctor, her expression suggesting a mix of shell-shock and surprise as she looked towards the now closed door.

“My godmother,” confirmed Alex, with a resigned shrug before turning her attention back to Olivia and asking,

“Is she ok?” the simple question serving to refocus the Doctor’s attention on her patient.

After what seemed like an eternity to Olivia, the delicate poking and prodding stopped, suggesting that the examination was over. This hypothesis was confirmed when Alex leant in and gave Olivia a tender kiss on the no longer cracked lips, before she straightened so as to be better able to follow what the Doctor was about to tell her. As she had done throughout the majority of the examination though, Alex remained holding onto Olivia’s hand, the physical connection bringing much reassurance and confidence to both ladies.

“Detective, let’s first get rid of this brace. The great news is that, despite your impressive tumble, you haven’t done any damage to your neck or spine. Nothing showed up in the x rays that were taken when you arrived here and my examination just now has revealed nothing to contradict that.” Quickly, and with the minimum of fuss, she removed the brace from around Olivia’s head and neck, allowing Olivia to finally turn her head enough to take in the full sight of her lover, before then focussing on the doctor to hear the rest of her diagnosis.

“Now, about the rest of you; I’ve got some news that will seem bad, but, given the circumstances, is actually good news. I’m afraid you have, to put it bluntly, wrenched your left knee. I’m guessing that the stairs you were thrown down had a banister, with vertical slats up the side with gaps?” speculated the Doctor, waiting to see if Olivia could recall. On seeing Olivia’s tentative nod, the Doctor was able to confirm her diagnosis, continuing her explanation for both ladies’ benefit,

“I think you probably caught your foot in the banister on your way down, causing you to strain some of the tendons and ligaments in your knee. That’s the bad news.” Before either Olivia or Alex could interrupt, she continued her explanation, gesturing to Alex especially, that she should hold her comments for the moment.

“The good news is that your head seems fine and the rest of you is just bruised. The fact that your knee is going to put you on crutches for about 10 days, with you treating it gently for a few weeks after that, without any surgery needed, is perhaps, all things considered, a minor miracle that you should be thankful for, in addition to your spine being fine,” concluded Doctor Stephens, making a couple of notes on Olivia’s chart, waiting to see what the reaction would be. It was Alex who reacted first, leaning down and, gathering Olivia’s face carefully in her hands, proceeded to kiss her senseless, the kiss driven by a mix of passion and relief. Discovering that she could now move her arms, despite the fact that she did feel exactly like she’d always imagined it would feel like after being thrown down three flights of stairs, Olivia moved her arms so that she could gather Alex into a loose embrace against her chest. Neither lady noticed that Doctor Stephens slipped from the room, obviously deciding to give the pair a few moments privacy.

Alex withdrew from the kiss when she somehow instinctively felt Olivia’s need for air, but stayed leaning over her love, their foreheads touching. Looking into those deep, rich eyes, Alex couldn’t help more tears of relief escape and run down her already tear streaked cheeks.

“Sweetie?” rasped Olivia, still not fully comfortable talking.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be crying on you…” Alex tried to straighten, only to be held in place by strong arms, even if they were exhausted.

“Who else would you cry on?” asked Olivia whispering tenderly, hoping that Alex would reveal her thinking, preferably before her arms turned to boneless dead-weights. Her comment succeeded in bringing a hint of a smile to Alex’s lips.

“No one, just you…..I’m sorry for being so…. it’s just a relief you’ve only wrenched your knee…..I mean, when Elliot rang Cragen….” The normally eloquent Counsellor was struggling to find the words, but she didn’t need to, Olivia already knew them. Taking a breath, Olivia forced herself to say what was troubling Alex, even if the effort would exhaust her.

“Officer down…you thought I’d been shot......I’m alright sweetie ….just a little banged up.” Olivia’s words of understanding and reassurance succeeding in drying Alex’s tears better than any handkerchief could, and the tight embrace that Olivia then willed her arms into giving Alex, managed to banish any doubts she had had about Olivia’s long term prognosis. Sniffing a touch, Alex allowed herself to give in to the temptation that was those gloriously soft lips. Covering Olivia’s lips with her own, she initiated a kiss that, whilst full of love was more about reassurance and affirmation of love, rather than the release of passion and tension, as their previous kiss had been. Withdrawing from the kiss, Alex had to reluctantly break away when her back started protesting loudly at the position Olivia’s arms were holding her in; Olivia’s arms had become dead weights on her back as her depleted energy reserves finally ran dry. Just as she was straightening up and helping Olivia get more comfortable, Doctor Stephens returned, prompting her to smile at her good timing, announcing her presence by saying,

“Detective? There are some rather concerned detectives outside hoping to come and see you, but they wanted me to tell you something important right now, something about the Embers being now out?”

“It’s a case, The Embers Case,” explained Alex, correctly guessing that Olivia didn’t really want to try to explain, as she took a tissue from the box by the bed and wiped her face with it. “Olivia was thrown down the stairs when they were arresting a suspect” As she talked, Alex, tried to get her ‘court’ persona to slot in place. She was only really comfortable with Olivia knowing how fragile she really felt, preferring to retreat behind her prosecutor’s ‘façade’ in the presence of the other Detectives.

“Ah, well, they’re waiting to see you, once I’ve finished with you Detective. I want you to stay with us for another 12 hours or so, so that we can make sure that hard head of yours didn’t have any issues with those stairs, but, if you can convince one of your colleagues to produce some clothes and a driver for you, assuming no complications, you can be out of here at, oh, 8am tomorrow morning?” suggested Doctor Stephens, amused at how bright Olivia’s face became at the mention of being discharged. Seeing how well her patient seemed to be doing, she moved over and tipped the head of Olivia’s bed up, so that she was no longer lying flat on her back; sitting up at an angle, she was now better placed to receive her visitors. Speaking to Alex, she continued,

“Ms. Cabot, since I’m assuming you’ll be the one with the challenge of making sure Detective Benson actually rests, here are the main points that need to be remembered if her knee is going to heal to be as good as new. I want her to keep the brace on as you would a leg cast for the next 7 days to allow the damaged tissues to heal, as well as keep the swelling under control, although it can be removed for up to an hour a day for a bath without causing any undue harm. During that time, Olivia, you are really not to put any weight on it, but use the crutches. After that, you can take the brace off, but still use the crutches. I want you to come back in a fortnight, when we can probably take you off the crutches, but depending on your progress, you may need to use a cane for a while.” Alex calmly absorbed everything the doctor was saying, until suddenly there was a relatively loud objection from Olivia,


“Sweetheart?” Alex turned to see what had upset her partner.

“Aspen!” was all Olivia said, still finding anything more than one word answers too much like hard work, unless it was to reassure Alex that she was not shot. Not that she needed to say much more than one word answers when talking with Alex, so in tune were they to each other.

“Oh! Doctor, we’re going skiing at Aspen for two weeks in, well, two weeks.”

“I’m sorry, but I would cancel if I were you. There is no way with that leg that you can consider skiing or anything more strenuous than light swimming and walking for at least the next month,” offered the Doctor kindly.

“Oh,” was all Alex said, conscious that Olivia was busy crumpling inside, having been excited at the idea of going skiing, despite her protestations and the teasing. A quick glance at Olivia though, confirmed what she had guessed, namely that Olivia was not showing this distress outwardly, instead adopting her ‘detective’ mask.

“I’m sorry ladies, I know it sounds harsh, but Olivia, being blunt, if you were my girlfriend? You’d be on couch and bed rest for a fortnight, no matter how tempting I would find the idea of log cabins and firelight. You were very lucky that you’re not having surgery on that knee, or in a more serious situation with your back”

“Experience Doctor?” was all Alex could think to say, struck by how genuine the words seemed, conscious also that Olivia needed perhaps a moment longer to absorb everything the Doctor was saying,

“Three years ago, right before we were going to the Catskills….she turned her ankle. Nothing as heroic as you mind Detective, she misjudged the steps as she was putting the trash out!” admitted the Doctor, glad to see that Olivia was beginning to regain her interest in their conversation as she obviously came to terms with what she was hearing.

“Now you mention it…” began Alex, turning to look or more accurately leer at Olivia, understanding that Aspen really was a non-starter now “….two weeks vacation and you on bed and couch rest sounds marvellous!” causing Olivia to turn bright red at her normally reserved girlfriend’s audacious suggestion, and for Doctor Stephens to start laughing. Patting Olivia’s uninjured leg, she turned to leave saying,

“I’ll be back before you leave, and some nurses will come by to check on you, but in the mean time, I’ll send in those Detectives…” before leaving Alex and Olivia alone again.


“Come in Elliot.” Alex was inwardly glad that it was just her lover’s partner that ventured into the room after the Doctor’s departure, and not the whole group of detectives.

“Alex?” Elliot came further into the room, his steps tentative, and his hands awkwardly clutching a very crumpled soda can, obviously the outlet for his anger and frustration.

“Hey El,” came the quiet voice from the bed, Olivia mustering up the energy to smile at her partner.

“Liv?” The normally confident ex-Marine’s voice was hesitant.

“I’m ok. We’re ok…”

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be…”


“Just kick John’s ass for me?” The tone was serious, but the eyes were sparkling and the smile broad and genuine.

“Through the Jersey Tunnel,” agreed Elliot, breaking into a tentative smile of his own, beginning to relax as he saw for himself how his partner was really doing.


“You’re gonna to be ok then?” Elliot’s expression was ghosted with a frown as he saw the exchange of looks between Olivia and Alex. Misunderstanding the communication between his partner and her lover, he dropped dead into the chair just by him as he recalled the sight of his partner sprawled across the bottom of the staircase, blocking their path down, lying awkwardly, unconscious and still.

“Oh God Liv, what’s happened?”

“Everything’s fine Elliot” began Alex, not quite understanding where his sudden change in feeling came from, but leaping in to reassure him on behalf of Olivia, who squeezed her hand in thanks.

“Liv?” Elliot was still uncertain

“I’m alright El…” began Olivia, smiling at her partner and taking a deep breathe, only to wince slightly. Seeing the look of concern intensify on her partner’s face, she added by way of explanation, “Ribs bruised,” whilst trying to will him to get out of the chair and come over to the bed, so that he was near enough to her to see for himself that she really was ok.

“Really?” As if by ESP, Elliot did indeed get out of the chair and come over to stand at the foot of the bed, the soda can still clutched in his left hand.

“Really” confirmed Alex, again speaking for Olivia who really was still finding talking hard work. “The Doctor said she can go home in twelve hours.”

“Observation?” queried Elliot, starting to recognise and comprehend what he was seeing and being told as the shock faded.

“My head, concussion. Take me home?” asked Olivia succinctly, seeking to reassure her partner as quickly as possible, referring to the time when her discharge would occur.

“We can do that,” agreed Elliot, once more beginning to crack a tentative smile, his gaze locked with his partner, it finally sinking in that she really was going to be alright.

“You get him?” asked Olivia, her curiosity overcoming her physical reluctance to engage in lengthy conversations.

“Big time. You want him for assault?” Elliot couldn’t suppress the pride he always felt whenever they caught someone as horrendous as Michael Wilson had been.

“Hell yes!” Alex’s immediate and vehement reaction prompted Olivia to try to chuckle.

“You sure about that Alex?” asked Elliot, picking up on his partner’s amusement.

“Aren’t the best donuts iced?” came the cryptic sarcastic response, turning Olivia’s chuckle into a full blown laugh which was quickly damped down again when her bruised body objected to the effort.

“She eats donuts?” asked Elliot of Olivia, not attempting to conceal his disbelief as he gestured with his thumb at Alex.

“Iced donuts,” confirmed Olivia as she tried to calm her breathing again so it was suitably gentle once more.

“Oh…” Elliot switched his gaze to the ADA, obviously trying to see it….and failing, before declaring evenly,

“But I’ve never seen you take one in the squad.”

“She eats mine.”

“Huh?” Elliot was starting to look like he was watching a tennis match, with his head swinging from Alex to Olivia. Deciding it was time for her to help out Alex, rather than the other way around as it had been, Olivia took a careful breath, before explaining,

“We question a guy, come out for a moment. Drink some coffee, start a donut. Then we go back in. She finishes my donut...” explained Olivia, earning a look from her lover for spilling the beans.

“Oh…” Still Elliot was struggling to picture the sophisticated Alexandra Cabot eating their donuts.

“You’re quite something Detective,” came the droll comment from Alex, her gaze locked with Olivia’s.

“What do you mean?”

“How long have you been partners?” Elliot stopped to think for a moment, before answering,

“Twelve years.”

“And have you ever seen your partner chose anything iced to eat except those donuts?” Elliot was starting to feel like he was on the stand as a witness, so precise were Alex’s questions. All she needed to do to complete the feeling was to start pacing in front of him, something she was unable to do because of the tight hold she still had of Olivia’s hand.

“Apart from buttercream on cakes, no,” agreed Elliot after a moment’s thought, but not seeing the significance.

“I hate icing,” came the voice from the bed. “You do?” To say Elliot was surprised was an understatement. After twelve years, he knew a lot about his partner, including, he thought, what she liked and disliked. Icing however, had not been on his list.


“So why do you take the iced donuts?”

“For me.”

“But you eat a bite first.” Elliot was confused, his attention still focussed on Olivia, whose own attention as focussed on Alex.

“Yeah,” agreed Olivia absently, suddenly not sure she wanted to muster up the energy for the explanation.

“I don’t get it,” declared Elliot finally, running his hand over his dark, close cut hair.

“There’s nothing to get…not anymore…” agreed Alex, smiling tightly at Elliot, seemingly willing the topic to be drawn to a close.

“As me next time we’re on stake out?” queried Olivia quietly, her intention being the same as Alex, namely to drop the topic for the moment.

“You got it,” agreed Elliot, having enough practice over the years to recognise when his partner was telling him to back off. Glancing at his hands, he spotted the soda can, its crumpled form reminding him of the emotions that he had been dealing with minutes before and which now seemed hours ago. Smiling sheepishly, he crossed to the door and deposited it in the trash can, wiping his hands on his coat before returning to the side of the bed, opposite Alex.

“So, once your head’s clear you back on door kicking duty?” asked Elliot conversationally.

“Not quite. I bust my knee. Desk for a month or so.” Relaxing now as she saw her partner returning to his normal self, Olivia found previously unnoticed tension ease, making it seemingly easier to talk.

“But you’re going home tomorrow still?”

“Sure. Two weeks on crutches, wear a brace, take it easy for a while and then good as new…” Olivia summarised, glad that Alex seemed to be relaxing her grip on her hand slightly as well, signalling that she too was coming to terms with the situation they now found themselves in. As Doctor Stephens had said, it sounded fairly bad, but compared to what might have been…Olivia decided she didn’t want to think about that.


“We’ll be going somewhere else,” offered Alex, smiling at Olivia.

“Sun, perhaps some sand…” began Olivia, trying to gauge Alex’s reaction, smiling as she recalled the teasing right after her shopping trip with Munch and Fin about bikinis.

“Sounds like the Caribbean to me,” offered Elliot, grinning as he too recalled the earlier banter.

“Sounds like a plan,” agreed Alex, reaching to run her fingers through Olivia’s hair, the tenderness in her expression not lost on Elliot. Deciding that he’d got better places he could be, Elliot cleared his throat and patted his partner’s hand.

“Get some rest Liv. Page me when you want to bust out of here. Whatever time it is.”

“Thanks Elliot,” agreed Olivia, looking at her partner.

“Catch you later then…” and, with a brief grin, Elliot excused himself from the room.

Closing the door carefully behind him, Elliot collapsed back against it, breathing deeply.

“She ok?” asked Fin, Munch unusually quiet and standing a few feet away, nervously spinning his hat through his hands.

“Yeah, she’s ok.”

“What’s she got?”

“Desk duty for about a month whilst her knee fixes up; they’re keeping her in for the next few hours to make sure her head’s ok.”

“That it?”

“Yeah, that’s it. She’s tough,” agreed Elliot proudly, looking up to smile at Fin and then seeing John.


“Yes?” Munch stopped spinning his hat and looked at Elliot, his normally pale skin if possible, even paler than it normally was.

“Have your ass at the entrance to the Jersey tunnel tomorrow. She wants me to kick your scrawny butt through it.”

“She’s ok?”

“Yeah. She’s…she’s fine.”

“Maybe I should go see her, say something…” began Munch, still uncertain.

“Give her a bit; it’s not the right time.”

“But you said she’s fine…” began Munch, his face clouding with concern.

“She is, but Alex is in there.”

“I’d just be a minute…” Elliot looked to Fin for help. There were things you knew about your partner, because they were your partner, just as there were things you knew about your partner’s lover, because they were your partner’s lover. These were the things that Elliot knew about and defended fiercely. These were things that even Munch and Fin, guys he trusted his and his partner’s life with, he would never share with them.

“John? Let’s come back in a while, give them some time.”

“But it’s just Alex…the Doctor said she could have visitors…” Munch’s naturally suspicious nature, normally confined to government conspiracies, was now not helping the conversation.

“I know John, I know. But, like you said, at the moment, it’s just Alex, just Olivia and Alex. Let’s go break the guy. Come back in a couple of hours with a confession,” tried Fin, hoping his partner would understand what he was saying.

John looked at his partner, the expression in his eyes shielded by the reflections of the ceiling lights on his glasses, but Fin didn’t need to see his eyes to know what he was thinking, to know at the moment when his partner pulled it together again. John would need to talk to Olivia, but not right now. After what could have been hours but was only a second or two, John reset his jaw, offering a small smile of thanks to his partner as everything clipped back into place inside of him. Raising his hat to his head, a clear signal to his colleagues that he was together again, he called out,

“That partner of yours want to press charges on him?”

“Her lawyer’s looking forward to it,” came the amused response from Elliot, glad to see Munch back in control.


“It’s going to be the highlight of Alex’s case. Something tells me that’s not something she’s going to deal on.”

“What makes you say that?” asked Fin as they waited for the elevator.

“Something she said.”

“What?” asked Munch, intrigued, as big a clue as anything that he had regained his composure.

“All the best donuts are iced…” explained Elliot, as he stepped into the crowded car with the other two detectives. Confused, Fin’s reaction was not dissimilar to Elliot’s initial reaction, saying,

“But Cabot doesn’t eat donuts!”

“Sure she does. She eats Benson’s,” stated Munch calmly, as he turned to face the closing doors, but not before seeing the look of surprise on Elliot’s face.

“He going to be ok?” asked Alex softly, her fingers still playing in Olivia’s hair.

“Elliot? He’s fine…”

“But?” asked Alex, letting her fingers drift across Olivia’s forehead and down her nose before straightening so that she could rearrange herself and perch comfortably on the side of the bed.

“But I’m not sure how John is going to be.”


“I was unconscious, with my back in a brace.” Not understanding why Olivia was singling out Munch, Alex merely resumed her light soothing touch, instinctively providing the best medicine for Olivia’s raging headache, waiting for her lover to explain in her own time.

“It was John’s arrest,” stated Olivia simply, as if that explained everything.

“And we got him…you got him.” Alex still wasn’t understanding the significance of what Olivia was telling her.

Olivia turned her head away from Alex and looked towards the window, but Alex knew she wasn’t seeing it. Instead, Olivia was looking into space, her mind showing her what happened, showing her something Alex could never look at, only hear about. After a moment, Olivia began to speak, quietly and carefully, her words dispassionate and remote. They were not her words, but words memorised many years before during a class at the Academy.

“You size up the hallway, work out which way is worth running. You tell the others where to stand, what to do. You tell them to stand a couple of yards back from the door, unless the stairs or elevators are nearer than that, near enough to come in behind you if it’s easy, far enough away that if it goes bad they have time to react, to grab whoever makes a run for it. When everyone’s ready, you knock, call out ‘NYPD’ or something, bang on the door a few times, trying to make the guy think opening the door is the only way to avoid your wrath. He doesn’t open, so you take the warrant and stick it to the door and the step to the side, the side with the hinges, turn your back against the wall and draw your gun. You look to everyone, look at their eyes, check they’re ready and then look to the guy on the door and nod. Then it happens. The door is busted down, you step out and turn, pushing your gun through the door, over your partner, ready to face whatever happens, shouting again. It’s all so quick but it seems so slow…. It’s your arrest, your responsibility….”

“And John had the warrant,” guessed Alex, now understanding where Olivia was coming from, why she was worried about John.

“Yeah, and I left the scene in a neck brace,” muttered Olivia dejectedly.

“He’ll come by,” suggested Alex soothingly.

“Yeah, he will,” agreed Olivia, tearing her gaze away from the point just short of infinity to look into the infinite depths of her lover’s eyes, seeing the seed of fear growing at their deepest point. Raising her hand to thread through Alex’s hair, Olivia turned her head so that her lips could brush Alex’s palm which had stayed hovering in her hair,

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s….” Alex’s composure was crumbling.

“Not nothing sweetheart.”

“It’s just….sometimes, you say something….your job…I work with you, see everything, hear everything you do….but…it’s…” Alex found words failing her.

“But only once they’re in the stationhouse and court room…” guessed Olivia, drawing Alex into her embrace, ignoring the physical pain her body was suffering in a desire to rid Alex of her pain.

“Silly…” Sniffed Alex, trying not to break down into tears again as she buried her head against Olivia’s neck, echoing the position she’d been in only a couple of hours earlier, that moment now a distant memory.

“No, not silly, not silly at all…”

Continue to SVU part 2

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The stories I write are all written from a femslash perspective. If you are a rigid fan of traditional m/f pairings, you won't find anything on this site that appeals. If you are not comfortable with the idea of women being interested or aware of other women in a sexual sense, you won't find anything on this site that appeals. If you are a fan of f/f writing, but like the sex to be more important than the plot, you won't find anything on this site that appeals. My writing is not universally PG rated, but neither is it explicit. There are no PWPs here.

What I write is called fanfiction, because it is fiction, written by a fan. I do not to this for profit, just for fun. All the main characters in my writing belong to other people.