Doctors Know BestEmail ncruuk
Disclaimer: Not mine. I promise I'm only borrowing them and will return them to their rightful owners whenever they ask for them back. My imagination took a flight of fancy.....my bank account stayed empty. (Seriously, the cast of SG1 & Atlantis belong to MGM and I'm only borrowing them for some free daydreaming that I wrote down).
Spoiler/Author’s Notes: You've grasped that SG1 goes through a big ring thing to another planet? And you're over that tricky lesbian hurdle? You're good to go then.....
Spoiler/Author's Notes (2): Not really any spoilers, at least, I don't think the events of Hereos or the existance of s4 Atlantis counts as a Spoiler does it?
PAIRING: Not sure - definitely mentions Janet Fraiser but actually is a Sam Carter & Jennifer Keller conversation that could hint at something...eventually....
Summary: Now CO of Atlantis, Sam Carter is still in need of medical guidance...and her old friends.
Unable to sleep, Colonel Samantha Carter found herself walking aimlessly around Atlantis feeling...lost. Not lost spatially, although exactly where she was she didn't know but that hardly bothered her - at some point, sooner or later, she'd find a landmark, a turning that felt familiar and then she'd carry on to...wherever. She wasn't lost career-wise either, although exactly what roles she was fulfilling now she didn't always know but again, that hardly bothered her - she was used to commanding, even when she'd been second in command of SG1 to Jack O'Neill she'd been commanding, commanding the small army of scientists, civilian and military that worked deep in the bowels of the Mountain, solving the various alien mysteries they had to master. She wasn't, for the first time in a long time, even lost emotionally, finding a sense of calm in Atlantis (despite its chaos and crises) that anchored her, helped her feel like everything fitted...almost: it wasn't that she had stopped missing Janet Fraiser, for that would always be the case, with her only real sense of completeness coming as she slept, dreamt of events long ago, galaxies away, but rather that she'd come to manage the emptiness, to not let it consume her, to keep the 'funk' as Cassie called it just out of reach, out of her life. Rather than mourn, she remembered; rather than mope, she revelled in the shared times she did recall.
Two more turns and she found herself in a corridor she did recognise, with the Gate Room at the far end and her office just off from it. Her office: now, that definitely felt weird - she didn't do offices...
"Colonel?" The gentle call eased Sam out of her musings carefully.
"Doctor..." Surprised to see Doctor Jennifer Keller leaning against the wall, Sam instinctively brushed her hand against her cheek, checking to see if she had her radio headset with her, only to confirm its absence, "...what have I missed?" she asked, cringing internally at her carelessness.
"Nothing...I mean, there is no emergency..."
"Ok..." Relieved, but also confused, Sam caught on her lower lip with her teeth as she waited for what she presumed would be an explanation.
"The Prometheus came in last week..."
"I know..." replied Sam immediately, not sure what was important about that fact now, with all the cargo unloaded and the ship on its return journey, "...did you get all your medical supplies?"
"Yes...umm, I'm not doing this right..." apologised Jennifer, looking troubled.
"Trying to explain what I'm about to show you..." said Jennifer nervously.
"You need to show me something?" asked Sam, suddenly reminded not of confident CMOs but nervous, young officers who were brilliant in their fields but shy and awkward out of their comfort zone, a situation she'd always felt affinity with.
"And you were waiting for me?"
"How did you know I was coming this way?" asked Sam, uncertain how the Doctor could have known where to wait since even Sam didn't know where she was heading.
"You're not sleeping properly and so come and check on the Gate..." confessed Keller, blushing slightly at being caught out, only for Sam to smirk.
"You think I'm crazy?"
"We all gravitate to what feels familiar... for you, that's the Gate not the ocean..."
"True...so, you want to show me something?" asked Sam casually, intrigued by her current CMO who, if her file was correct, was probably as brilliant as every other Stargate CMO she'd met even if currently, she was rather more nervy and tongue-tied.
"Yes, it's in here..." explained Jennifer, gesturing to a room off the main corridor, no more than a 45 second run from the Control Room.
"What is it?" asked Sam, even as the door was opening, unable to contain her curiosity.
"Something important...for you Colonel..." explained Jennifer, turning on the lights, revealing a couple of pallets of crates obviously shipped in on the Prometheus.
"How did these get here?" asked Sam, confused. As CO of Atlantis, she'd signed off on the shipping inventory - she was quite certain she would have noticed several crates for her.
"They were classified as medical equipment..."
"Smuggling already Doctor Keller?"
"General O'Neill is Ma'am..." prompting Sam to wince.
"Try calling me Sam..." suggested Sam quickly, not liking being 'Ma'am' unless she absolutely had to be.
"General O'Neill had them shipped marked for my attention… Sam, so they came through as medical equipment."
"Ah...what is it?"
"My prescription? For what?" Sam was confused, but intrigued.
"Your insomnia and general feeling of displacement..." diagnosed Keller, wondering how the Colonel would react if she knew that currently, the only adjective the doctor could think of to describe the highly decorated hero was 'adorable' as she obviously tried to unravel what was happening.
"I think you need to explain...from the beginning..." decided Sam, leaning against the wall, content to stare into the middle of the room until she had an explanation for what was a decidedly confusing turn of events.
"I read your file...your full file..." began Jennifer, mirroring Sam's pose, "...I started it the first day you were appointed, but it took a while to read..."
"I can imagine..." retorted Sam dryly, remembering some of her more 'memorable' medical adventures and wondering if referring to her records as a 'file' could be classified as a massive understatement. She was fairly certain she had to be up to a whole filing cabinet by now...
"I'd like to keep you away from alien incursion and head injury if possible..." added Jennifer conversationally, feeling more confident as the conversation progressed.
"You and me both..." muttered Sam as an aside, obviously expecting the Doctor to continue with her explanation.
"There was a letter, in your file...it was from Doctor Fraiser..." Jennifer paused as she noted the reaction from Sam, the sudden twitch at the mention of the former SGC CMO who had set the standard for all future CMOs to aspire to followed by a calming breathe, suggesting that there was something deeper than ever the most fanciful of rumours had ever suggested might have existed.
"When was it written?" asked Sam, willing her body not to betray her mental state: she hadn't expected to hear Janet's name on Atlantis.
"When you were still a Captain...almost ten years ago...you can read it if you want..." offered Jennifer, not sure why she felt she'd be refused.
"Is it handwritten?"
"No thanks..." Sam was certain she’d not be able to keep it together if she saw a handwritten letter from Janet, even if it was about her rather than to her.
"She was a remarkable woman who understood you..."
"More than anyone else ever has..." agreed Sam, sensing that Jennifer probably already knew, or at least had worked out that there had been something between her and Janet.
"She wanted to make sure that anyone else who was your doctor understood you..."
"Sounds like Janet..."
"You miss your lab..." observed Jennifer quietly, slipping her hand in her pocket and extracting the flick knife she'd borrowed from Teyla.
"How do you know?" asked Sam, suddenly focussing intently on her, everything that was making her feel awkward and 'off' as she prowled the City now fitting into place.
"The letter...watching you...General O'Neill..."
"What do you mean?"
"You're not used to not having a massive list of discoveries to make - at least, that was how Doctor Fraiser described it. General O'Neill just asked me if you'd found any doohickies to play with yet..."
"McKay wouldn't like it..." mused Sam, conscious that her presence on Atlantis had the tremendous capacity to upset the existing scientific, military and civilian hierarchies if she wasn't careful, resulting in her deliberately distancing herself from all hands-on science and most front-line military activity.
"I couldn't get you a lab like you had in the mountain....but at least this room is windowless..." explained Keller tangentially.
"This room, it's your new lab..."
"Why do I need a lab?"
"Lab's perhaps the wrong word..." explained Jennifer, easing apart two of the panels of one of the crates with the blade of the knife so that, with a nod to Sam for some help, they could lift the top of the crate off, "...workshop maybe?"
"You got me a motorbike?" asked Sam, recognising a wheel.
"Not exactly...I asked General O'Neill to ship me some suitable 'doohickies'..."
"Why?" Sam was curious.
"Doctor Fraiser was a brilliant doctor but more importantly, she was someone who understood you...I'm just filling her prescription for you..."
"A project...Samantha Carter always needs a project, whether it's saving the world or rebuilding a motorbike. Without a project she's liable to retreat into herself and shut out the world...with a project, there's still a chance she might retreat in times of extreme emotional and physical stress but the project can sometimes act as a lifeline back to the world..."
"Janet wrote that?"
"I may have paraphrased..."
"Why did she write it?"
"Because she was trying to ensure that no one ever put you on what she termed 'brain-rest'...her letter was most emphatic on that..." Jennifer trailed off when she saw that Sam was losing her battle with composure, uncertain what to say.
"I'm sorry..." said Sam, gesturing towards her eyes even as she caught her cuff with her fingers and rubbed it across her cheekbones, "...I'm sure I'm not supposed to do this."
"I won't tell..."
"Thanks...I..." Suddenly, Sam felt like she should offer an explanation.
"It's ok, I already know..."
"How?" Sam was surprised - whilst there had been rumour amongst some of their closer colleagues at the SGC, it was now so long ago that she really hadn't thought the Atlantis personnel with the exception of Sheppard and Mackay would have known about Janet Fraiser, never mind her and Janet.
"Her notes on you they were more..." Before Jennifer could find the right word, Sam had interrupted her,
"She always did say that if anyone bothered to read my full file they'd work it out... she always claimed she'd probably struggled to be detached enough on one or two entries but she was relying on no one having the patience to wade through all my misadventures to work it out..." recalled Sam, her eyes wetting again.
"It didn't require patience to read everything..." admitted Jennifer, remembering the times she'd had to force herself to stop reading, to get some sleep, to wait for another day to continue learning about Samantha Carter and the missions she had gone on through the detailed records Janet Fraiser kept about what happened when she came home, at times not sure whether it was the professional desire to understand her newest patient or the personal desire to understand the woman that was obviously so important to the world, to the universe.
"A motorbike?" asked Sam, deciding to distract herself from the topic of Janet before she became even more unscrambled.
"I think so...actually, I think it's two...he sent a huge heap of parts…” Jennifer gestured towards the larger of the two pallets, “…and some tools…”
“Cool…” And, for the first time since they’d met, Jennifer Keller witnessed the real Samantha Carter, the brilliant, curious Sam whose life had been spent solving problems and puzzles and who now had a new puzzle to work on, a new project to complete. Building some motorbikes wasn’t saving the universe, but right now, the universe didn’t need saving…its saviour did instead, “…hand me that knife will you?” asked Sam, distracting Jennifer from her thoughts.
“Your knife…” repeated Sam, eager to start on her latest project, suddenly feeling more energised than she had for days, “…I need to get these pallets open…”
The stories I write are all written from a femslash perspective. If you are a rigid fan of traditional m/f pairings, you won't find anything on this site that appeals. If you are not comfortable with the idea of women being interested or aware of other women in a sexual sense, you won't find anything on this site that appeals. If you are a fan of f/f writing, but like the sex to be more important than the plot, you won't find anything on this site that appeals. My writing is not universally PG rated, but neither is it explicit. There are no PWPs here.
What I write is called fanfiction, because it is fiction, written by a fan. I do not to this for profit, just for fun. All the main characters in my writing belong to other people.