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Oh Mamma...

Fandom Crossover: Voyager/Buffy (no pairing)

Email ncruuk

Disclaimer: Not mine. I promise I'm only borrowing them and will return them to their rightful owners whenever they ask for them back. My imagination took a flight of fancy.....my bank account stayed empty. (Seriously, the cast of Star Trek Voyager belong to UPN and Paramount and I'm only borrowing them for some free daydreaming that I wrote down whilst the cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the brainchild of people like Josh Whedon)


Spoiler/Authorís Notes: : I challenged myself to try to come up with the most random fandom combination/pairing I could write in an attempt to see if some of you would read it....weird, I know, but I had fun.....


Rating: PG




"...it should close in 3.4 minutes...." explained Seven, seemingly unconcerned with the fact that she'd started that sentence in Voyager's transporter room and was finishing it via comm link, post transport, from what would appear to be some sort of black coloured outdoor recreation surface.

"Has anyone seen you yet Seven?" asked Kathryn Janeway, her voice sounding clear and calm over Seven's comm link.

"No, I do not believe..." Seven could get no further in her observation since there was suddenly a loud shout of

"BOOBIES!"

"Seven?" Janeway was concerned - the shout had been loud enough to register clearly on Voyager's Bridge.

"I will investigate Captain, one moment." To Janeway's intense frustration, Seven cut the comm link before scanning her surroundings with the tricorder and her cortical node.

"Big boobies....." There the voice went again, enabling Seven to pin point its location, as well as what she thought it belonged to.

"Come out!" she commanded forcibly, not overly concerned about what her tricorder was reading. It showed the presence of an intelligent life classed as 'hormone driven boy, no physical threat to anything except his pride and shorts'.

"Oh mamma.....BOOBIES....."

"I am not your mother, Mr....?" Seven decided she would try icy politeness in an attempt to get this...child....to disappear quickly.

"Xander, call me Xander...." explained the male, his eyes firmly glued to Seven's chest. Before Seven could think of anything new to say, a red headed female came up besides the male.

"Don't stare Xander, it's..." as Willow was about to say 'rude' she made the mistake of turning to look at whatever it was that had captivated Xander's attention "....BOOBIES!" she exclaimed suddenly, becoming hypnotised by Seven's chest.

"Seven of Nine?" Startled by the new voice, Seven turned her head away from the two transfixed people but made sure not to move her chest - its ability to hypnotise them into static zombies was proving to be a rather unexpected yet remarkably useful weapon.

"Yes?"

"Buffy Summers....you're here to close the Hellmouth?"

"Yes, in 1.8 minutes."

"Excellent, thank you. You need any help?"

"I have it under control....." uncertain what to say, Seven awkwardly raised her arm in the direction of Willow and Xander. Fortunately, Buffy was fluent in Borg Mime.

"Meet 20th century teenage male, driven by hormones and fantasy..." Buffy explained dismissively, far more interested in the rapidly closing Hellmouth which was currently consuming the Away team dugout on the far side of the playing fields.

"And the female, designation Willow?" asked Seven, curious. Her tricorder hadn't provided anything to explain her state of transfixion.

"Only lesbian in a town full of Vampires and straight cheerleaders....it's an underrepresented minority...." shrugged Buffy, staking a stray vampire as she talked.

"I see." And Seven did, for another 3.8 seconds before Voyager's transporters swept her back into the 24th century....




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PLEASE NOTE

The stories I write are all written from a femslash perspective. If you are a rigid fan of traditional m/f pairings, you won't find anything on this site that appeals. If you are not comfortable with the idea of women being interested or aware of other women in a sexual sense, you won't find anything on this site that appeals. If you are a fan of f/f writing, but like the sex to be more important than the plot, you won't find anything on this site that appeals. My writing is not universally PG rated, but neither is it explicit. There are no PWPs here.

What I write is called fanfiction, because it is fiction, written by a fan. I do not to this for profit, just for fun. All the main characters in my writing belong to other people.